Interwoven with the jumbled spatiality of the globalized postfordist exopolis is a recomposed sociality that has become similarly fluid, fragmented, decentered, and rearranged in complex patterns that are only beginning to be recognized, understood, and effectively studied.

You think you’re tired, then you realize you’re not black.

Apps are ruining my life.
I hate how technology makes me feel.

Everyday, I’m constantly checking every fucking ring and bell and chime my phone can muster.

Everyday, I’m studying every UX decision companies make to bait users into habitual utilization of their products.

Everyday, I’m making decisions to create those same patterns to users for products I’ve been hired to design.

And I hate myself for it.

Literal Pain — I think I took PHHHOTO (s/o to the app) 4 years ago. Very apropos.
Blogging is ruining my life.
I hate how meticulous writing has to be.

I don’t write not because I’m not a competent writer.
I don’t write not because I don’t have anything worth writing.
I don’t write because we have to think of catchy headlines and make listicles of 10 favorite things no one honestly gives a shit about or 10 reasons why you think everyone else is a fucking duncecap and failing at life, business or both.

And I hate that voices are silenced by those who balloon their titles and status like a self-appointed “thought leader.”

This isn’t some rant that will lead into an intellegent, and compelling reason for me feeling the way I do. I just don’t like people like me and other designers, engineers and business people continue to create.

I’ve spent 4 years at SCAD learning the theory and psychology behind human behavior, business logic and leveraging those insights to develop manipulative solutions framed as “design” to help companies make shit loads of money at the expense of my morality.

I’m fucking tired of it and my career just started. I graduated two years ago and catapulted into directorship and in that short time period I’ve learned two things:

Design if wielded in the hands of savvy businesses, will ultimately use design to the detriment of their consumers to increase their money, and boost their image as “leaders” and “revolutionaries.”

Designers can manipulate businesses that are unknown to the power of design to extort money from business owners (even if these designers are subpar).

At this point, you might surmise that I’m too young and I don’t know what I don’t know and that I’m jaded and disgruntled.

You’re damned right.
I don’t like what current design represents.
And I don’t like using my talents for personal glory or to get rich with a startup.


What we do is supposed to be a privilege — an opportunity to create something that provides access and accountability. We are supposed to be liberators and problem solvers tackling real issues.

Instead, we waste our knowledge pushing pixels and mapping out experiences that bait users into bad, addicting habits under the ruse of “gamification.” The reality is that games are multidimensional and capable of mature themes and narratives, not stupid parlor tricks to keep people engaged enough to instantly gratify them with every action they take.

Instead of contributing some of our time to pro-bono efforts, becoming more of a voice in public policy and local government, speaking out against hate and racism, sexism and bigotry, we have continually shown the world that designers can’t even come together to design a better system for society to live in. We’d rather just play into the saviorism shtick with NGO’s to design something to disperse condoms to african villagers, take photos and say, “we’re making a difference.”

No the fuck you’re not.

This shit is depressing.

I can’t focus at work. I can’t focus on my projects. I’ve got lapses in time that I can’t account for. I’ve seen a neurologist to try and explain these memory gaps and I’m fucking 23. What the fuck. I’m stressed out and over all of it.

I always told myself that if I ever got to a point where something is so stressful it causes physical harm––to get the FUCK out of there.

So that’s what I’m doing.